


Any Other Time

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: I'm Sorry [15]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 06:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18277727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: "Dick, we’re trying to save you. We care about you. Why can’t you see that?”“He can. He just doesn’t want to.”





	Any Other Time

**Author's Note:**

> So...

Any other time, Dick’s face would have split into a wide smile at the mere  _ thought  _ of Damian running and grabbing him tightly around the middle in a bone crushing hug as soon as he walked through the manor doors.

The fact that it was happening now was nothing short of a miracle.

And yet Dick felt nothing. His face was blank as he placed his hands on Damian’s shoulder and carefully pushed the younger boy away, missing the shock that flicked through Damian’s eyes for half a second.

“Master Richard, it’s wonderful to see you home again,” Alfred said.

“Yeah,” Dick said quietly. “Hi.” he looked over at Jason. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Jason nodded. “B and Tim are in the study. You joining Damian?”

“Of course,” Damian declared, still standing by Dick’s side. “I refuse to be left out of such an important conversation.”

“What about you, Alfred?” Jason asked.

“I believe I will stay here, sir,” Alfred replied, hands clasped behind his back. “But I wish you luck.”

“Yeah,” Jason said, glancing at Dick who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there. “Thanks. We’ll need it.”

  
  


………..

 

Jason really should have seen this coming.

Dick didn’t want to be there. Didn’t want to talk. Which meant, obviously, he wasn’t going to be the one to speak first.

The problem with that? Neither was Bruce. 

They’d been sitting in Bruce’s study for five minutes in absolute silence and Dick looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there.

Honestly, Jason was surprised he hadn’t just gotten up and walked away. Then again, that could come from the fact that Alfred was still downstairs, likely making sure no one could walk out of the conversation before there was actually a conversation.

Finally,  _ finally _ , Tim cleared his throat. “So,” he said, looking around. “Anyone want to go first?”

Silence fell again and before Jason groaned. “I will,” he said, heaving a sigh. He glanced over at Dick who had his arms wrapped around himself and was stubbornly watching the ground, refusing to look at anyone. “Dick, do you remember anything you said in any of our letters?”

“No,” Dick replied, voice empty and emotionless.

Jason had expected as much. “You told me you knew I had always hated you.”

“You told me you knew I hated the hugs and nickname,” Damian chimed in.

“You told me I never paid any attention to you,” Tim added.

Bruce said nothing.

“Alright,” Dick said slowly. “So what?”

Jason tried not to sigh. “Maybe I wanted to dead a long time ago,” he said slowly. “And yeah, maybe I hated you. But...that was a long time ago, Dick.”

Dick heaved a sigh. “Jason-”

“I merely disliked the contact and name because I was...unused to it,” Damian chimed in, cutting Dick off. “But after father...left and you took the mantle of Batman, you became the only...family I had. I grew used to it.”

Dick’s expression was blank and before Tim could say anything, Jason chimed in. “Dick, you’re listening, right?”

“Of course.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “ _ Dick _ ,” he said firmly, waiting for the acrobat to look at him before he continued. “How long have you been feeling suicidal?”

Dick was silent. “You really don’t want to know,” he finally replied

“I think we do,” Tim said gently, placing a tentative hand on Dick’s shoulder and leaving it there when the acrobat didn’t dislodge it. “We wouldn’t be asking if we didn’t want to know.”

Dick heaved a sigh, slumping back in the char, staring at the ground as he answered. 

“I’ve wanted to die since my parents fell. I’ve been planning it since I was eight. My first...attempt, I guess, was when I was thirteen.”

“God, Dick,” Jason hissed, covering his face with a hand.

“Does that mean,” Tim said slowly. “All those times you were happy, it was just-”

“An act,” Dick replied, sounding bored. He propped his elbow up on the armrest of the chair and held his head in his hand, glaring at the wall. “Yes.”

Jason looked over at Bruce and nearly screamed. “What the fuck, Bruce?!” he snarled. “We’re trying to prevent your son from killing himself again and you’re checking your fucking email?!”

Bruce lifted his gaze up to Jason but Dick stood and spoke before Bruce had a chance to even try and defend himself.

“Don’t bother,” Dick said, tone exhausted. “It’s cause he knows I was better off dead.”

“Shut the fuck up and sit down,” Jason snarled. “We are not done with this-”

“You didn’t even read the note, did you?” Dick asked, looking over at Bruce.

“No,” Bruce replied.

Dick hummed quietly. “Wow,” he murmured. “I had expected Damian to not read it.”

“Don’t walk away,” Jason said, desperation lacing his voice as Dick turned and made his way towards the door of the study. “Dick, please.”

“Why?” Dick asked, turning to face Jason, expression void and empty. “Cause you know as soon as I walk out those doors, I’m as good as dead?” 

“Yes,” Jason said. “Dick, we’re trying to save you. We  _ care  _ about you. Why can’t you see that?”

“He can,” Tim said quietly. “He just doesn’t want to.”

“I was better off dead, Jason,” Dick said. “Everyone will be better off once I’m dead.”

As soon as he was gone, Jason turned to Bruce. “This is your fault,” he snarled. “Cause you can’t open your fucking mouth and tell him you give a shit.”

Without waiting for Bruce to say a word, Jason turned and rushed out in a useless attempt to stop Dick from leaving.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've got no idea where the fuck this series is going.
> 
> I sense that the end is coming but I've no idea how to get there.
> 
> I'm SO TEMPTED to end it with Dick killing himself again.
> 
> Anyway, let me know in the comments how you want this series to end!


End file.
